If you are single, child-free (not childless) and consider relationships (read romantic) a high-risk job, you have just earned a new adjective for yourself – Freemale. This species came into existence about a decade back and while most other species that should be saved – both flora and fauna – are finding their way to WWF’s Red List, Freemales are actually increasing in number. So while all you Freemales out there raise a toast, countries like Australia and England are reporting in various surveys how the number of single women in the age-group of 25-45 have actually doubled and may soon surpass the number of their married counterparts!
Hallelujah to that, but is the situation in India similar too? Well, Freemales may not have overtaken the married women, but the numbers have shown an appreciable increase. In fact, you can happily count any woman who takes to her designer heels the moment a relative/friend/acquaintance asks ‘when are you tying the knot?’ in this category.
“What I don’t understand is why your single status is counted as ‘hasn’t got a good enough catch till now’. Yes, I am waiting for Mr Right but I won’t settle for Mr Right Now. So if I have to go without marriage, so be it. I am not complaining, only the rest of the world is,” says Sarika Gupta, a 30-year-old bank manager, who hates the fact that her self worth is decided by the fact that she has not managed to get a ‘Mrs’ prefix to her name till now, “I have a house, a car and a healthy social life. But all that is negated the moment my marital status comes into play!”
There are others who say that they are happy to put themselves first, only nobody will buy it. “I am ok with my life the way it is. I have seen my friends going through bitter divorces or making adjustments to somehow keep their marriage going. I won’t say I am disillusioned with the institution but just that it doesn’t excite me enough to give up my freedom and way of life for it. And honestly, I am too set in my ways today and too busy with work to try to make a match. I have men in my life but they aren’t the ones I will pledge my troth to anytime soon,” says 34-year-old Meenu Menon, a media professional.
However, these Bridget Jones-meet-Sex And The City quartet don’t intend to be single for the rest of their lives. “If love and marriage happen, great, but no second choices for me,” says graphic designer Arpita Trivedi, “I have spent a lot of time abroad before I came to India. Trust me, Indian society is as accepting of your single status as a US or UK. At least here you have your family to act as a cushion when you take a fall. There living a single life is much more difficult. But singletons all across the world are used to being go-getters; a loser of a marital match has no chance in hell of succeeding. So why go for it? Also, rootless as I have been of late, do I want to get into such a relationship and not change cities if my work demands it? I am not so sure.”
However, this status is not half as much fun as it sounds. Ask the 40-year-old Carrie Bradshaw in SATC, who at 40 realises credit cards can buy you Manolo Blahniks and extra closet space for your designer togs, but not love. You may not want to marry for the next three years, but will you regret this decision in five? “It is not easy,” confesses 36-years-old Juhi Galihar, a self-employed entrepreneur, “At times I do miss having a family, a husband. But then, my married friends say they wish they had decided to focus on their careers instead of taking a break to take care of their kids. Well, you can’t have it all!”
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