Vatsyayana would be a very unhappy man if he glanced through the Durex survey 2008. The urban Indian is so caught up with life that there’s little action happening between the sheets. Hectic stressed-out lifestyles are getting in the way of libido and liaisons.
A global survey conducted by the leading condom manufacturer, Durex, reveals that 46 per cent Indians experience an orgasm during every encounter against 24 per cent of Chinese and 27 per cent of Japanese. Italians, Spaniards and Mexicans have best sex lives with 66 per cent of them reaching the peak, the survey, which polled 26,000 people in 26 countries.
Women get a worse deal; only 32 per cent say they reached the peak every time they have sex, compared with 63 per cent of men. But not everyone is going through a routine of pleasure denial. Usha, a 26-year-old professional says, "I lost my virginity to my husband on the marriage night. I was very naïve but my husband was very understanding. Today we share a very healthy sexual relationship. My husband is very sensitive to my sexual needs. We spend a lot of time in foreplay and I enjoy his playfulness."
However, that’s not always the story as many Indian women go through the motions of faking it if only to keep their partners happy." Women do not understand that they can be in control of their own pleasure. They believe that the man is the one having his fun. Once women understand their own sexuality it will boost their satisfaction factor," explains Ian Faria, a marriage counsellor.
Jamal Shaikh, editor Men’s Health magazine says, "In India most men have their first sexual encounter at the age of 25 or even later, with a girl who is his wife. So they may come across as shy. For most Indian women, a man who’s not completely sure of himself is a turn off. This reduces the level of satisfaction for the man and the woman."
Globally, a third of people do it once a week while Greeks are really at it with all their hot-blooded Mediterranean virility (87 per cent) and Brazilians close behind (82 per cent), around 68 per cent of Indians have sex once a week.
Are Indians, then holding their urges back and keeping hormones on a leash? "Although India is the land of the Kama Sutra, there has been a lot of negative ideas doing the rounds about sex. Women believe that they have to oblige their husbands in bed -- sex is the price for marriage and for men marriage is the price for sex. This mindset is throwing the balance off," says Faria.
Sudha, 24, believes that sex comes naturally to people. "I am a virgin and I intend to lose my virginity to my husband. For me sex should be spontaneous and not be goal oriented. It should be love making and an orgasm in the mind."
Though the experiencing of pleasure has its origin in the mind, there is no denying that the mating game is also a very touch-feel skill involving hits, misses, erogenous zones and sensitive spots. These physical ramifications heighten the satisfaction of the ritual. Intellectualising it beyond a point might take way from that sense of fulfillment. Maybe we need to talk, express, open up, and experiment.
No comments:
Post a Comment