Numerous scientific studies being conducted worldwide today link a mother’s diet to the sex of the child. These studies talk about high calorie diets that ‘boost’ chances of a baby boy; mete out advice for wannabe mums: cereals for a boy, diet for a girl! Are we still obsessed with having a male child?
‘Putrarthe kriyathe varja’ is an ancient Sanskrit phrase that means: ‘we marry with the soul aim to have a son to keep the clan progressing’. These words are just as relevant today as they were thousands of years ago.
They reflect the age-old desire, rather, obsession, for the male child not only in India but in the West too. Yes, astonishing as it may sound, an increasing number of studies are being conducted worldwide that advise mothers-to-be on diets and practices to be followed for a baby boy.
The male-child syndrome
Take a look at this. According to a study conducted at Britain’s Oxford and Exeter Universities, a high calorie diet at the time of conception increases the chances of having a baby boy.
Another study ‘warns’ that the chances of giving birth to a baby girl are higher for mothers who are on a diet around the time of conception. Yet another one links mom’s aggressive temperament or for that matter the day of intercourse with the likelihood of conceiving a male child!
Coming to India, the fixation with a male child takes on a whole new meaning. From grandmothers, to mothers, nannies, and even religious gurus – just about anyone has some hot ‘tip’ to give to wannabe mums.
These tips include, though not limited to, asking mother-to-be to eat bananas (rich in potassium) every morning to have a baby boy; gorging on salty snacks (rich in sodium) and cereals; and even asking fathers-to-be to have a cup of coffee before intercourse!
Diets aside, ‘tips’ are also generously dished out on important positions and days. Seventy-five year old Nirmala Devi takes the guarantee of a baby boy if the woman lies on her left during intercourse; according to a priest at a temple: “Conceiving on full moon night gives a baby boy.”
Couples also rely on practices like numerology and astrology to determine the sex of the baby. “We constantly get queries from people asking prediction about their child’s sex and also measures to conceive a baby boy, “informs numerologist Rajesh Khattar. So intense is the desperation shown by these couples that Khattar ends up with suggestions such as: finding a suitable mating day or a particular age of the mother in which chances of giving birth to a baby boy are higher.
Do these measures provide any guarantees? Do they actually work? “There’s no guarantee; however the solutions are based on the experience of a few people. They might and might not work for everybody. Personally, I discourage such queries but couples are in no mood to listen to ‘no’,” says Khattar.
“I couldn’t believe when a Korean couple asked if mating on the day of ovulation could get them a male baby?” says Dr. Ranjana Gupta, gynaecologist at Fortis La Femme.
s it an obsession?
That brings us back to where we started: are we still obsessed with the male child? The answer to that is not hard to find. A glimpse at the census figures shows a dwindling sex ratio in the country. The number of girls for every 1,000 boys in India has fallen to 927 in 2001 from 962 in 1981. In some states the men have to look elsewhere for brides.
Elaborates Dr. Ranjana, “To some extent still there exists an obsession for the male child. Though the picture is gradually changing and we do come across couples who are not bothered about the sex of the baby and also some who actually want a baby girl. At the same time we cannot ignore the large number of couples who come in with a desire to have a male child and ask for hit and trial methods like the position or day or diet to have one. ”
For what joy?
In India, the reasons behind the deep-rooted desire to have a male child are two-fold: one, to further the clan, and two, societal pressure.
Rohit and Nandini, both bankers are going to have their first baby and they want a boy. Ask them why and ‘family expectations’ are cited as the reason: “It’s my grandmothers’ wish to see her great grandson before she dies,” explains Rohit.
Another couple, Sadhna and Rajesh, who are planning their family, have a healthy baby on their wish list. For Rashi and Vikas who already have a girl, “having a baby boy as their second child will not just be a mark of completion to our family but will also keep everybody happy at home.”
“Those who are having a second child after a baby girl are more eager to have a boy and want to try out different methods. But we always tell them to pray for a healthy baby,” says Dr. Rinku Sengupta, gynaecologist.
For some, a baby boy signifies happiness and a ‘complete family’, for others it is important to fulfill family expectations. No matter how ‘open-minded’ or ‘content’ families may appear to be, the desire for a male child drives couple to follow ‘tips’ mindlessly.
According to Dr. Rinku : “There is no medical proof of such studies, so we always discourage our patients to try such methods. Still, we meet couples who are quite adamant to try things like conceiving on a particular day during the ovulation cycle or in a particular position, justifying it with the fact that if there’s no benefit there’s no harm either.”
Where are we going wrong?
Whether such practices cause harm will always remain a matter of debate, a constant tussle between the mind and the heart, the believers and non-believers.
The question is: is the desire for a male child so deep-rooted that it’s still most venerated by all? The question becomes all the more consequential for countries such as India, where skewed sex ratios tell a darker story – female infanticide.
There cannot be a worse plight for a nation where the Prime Minister himself has to come forward with an urge to save the girl child and Dr. Manmohan Singh recently did that calling it “national shame” for a country that’s riding high on economic prosperity.
So when Meenakshi, a young mother, out the many that we had already spoken to, stated her wish to have a baby girl, even after having one already, it felt that all was not lost. Hope exists. Of course, the battle will only be won when more and more Meenakshis are born.
No comments:
Post a Comment