Do parents make the best buddies for kids?

Be it a chat about their daughter’s new date or sharing a glass of beer with their teenage son, parents of generation X have come a long way from being just parents to being friends with their kids. But is that the ideal style of parenting?

While the ‘generation gap’ between parents and children seems to be diminishing over the last few years, the extent to which the bond of friendship between children and their parents should exist is a question that often comes to mind. Friendship can be a wonderful source of strength and an excellent way to satisfy the emotional needs of children, but where should one draw the line?

According to Manuj Arora, a student, "Friendship between parents and children helps to minimize the communication gap. Whenever the child has a problem, parents should be there to guide them and solve the problem. A child is more honest with his/her parents if they are more like friends than just parents", he adds.

In fact, experts are seeing increasing instances of parents, especially mothers, who want to be friends with their children. According to clinical psychologist Stephan Poulter, author of The Mother Factor ‘this style of mothering had been on the rise for about 15 years’.

The question is: Is it necessarily the right style of parenting?

Abhimanyu Kukreja, a college student believes that it is good for parents to be friends with their children but only to an extent. He says, "There are some things that one cannot share with parents."

Experts too feel that ‘kids need their parents, not another friend’ as it is important to keep the boundaries. A serious consequence of the parent-child ’friendship’ is the diminishing respect that children have for their parents.

Rose Rock, the mother of US comedian Chris Rock, who has laid down the 10 commandments of parenting in a new book, Mama Rock’s Rules: Ten Lessons for Raising a Houseful of Successful Children , states that you should not let your children think they can disrespect you or treat you like a buddy. She also talks about the need for parents to play the role of a protector and a guide rather than letting children lay down their own rules. She lays stress on the need for parents to take back to traditional roles.

Anudita Prasad, who is a mother of two sons says, "Friendship between parents and children should be such that the child does not hide anything from his parents and feels free to share his beliefs and opinions. But this doesn’t mean that the child does not respect his parents". "Parents should also spend enough time with their children, interact with them and know more about their peers and whereabouts", she adds.

Bharat Mishra who has a son and a daughter says, "Parents should know where to draw the line. There are certain things like discipline, studies and mannerisms that one cannot compromise with. If it is not so, children will cross their limits and will not respect their parents. Parents can be friends but should also let the child know his limits."

Most of the time parents justify their approach towards their kids saying that they are afraid that their children may hesitate to discuss their problems and challenges if they don’t share an intimate relationship with them. However, it is also important for children to have their own circle of friends, have their own confidants and learn to be social by interacting with their peers.

Poulter believes that because of unresolved issues with their parents, some parents today don’t want to be harsh and just want their children to like them.

V N Pandey, a father of two children says, "When a child is young, parents need to be strict. But during a child’s teenage years, parents should be more like a friend in order to build trust and understanding with the child. At the same time, parents should also retain their authority and superior position to draw the line where it is necessary."

Dr Samir Parikh, a psychiatrist says, "I think we have a misnomer attached to friendship between parents and children. We think friendship will result in parents becoming more lenient. If it is just about being together and having fun just like friends, it is absolutely okay. Anything that will have a positive impact on the child and the relationship should be encouraged. Parents should be like a friendly guide for their children."

When children begin to shoulder responsibilities, what they need most is guidance and support. Parents can be good friends and guide their children but the bond shouldn’t weaken the parents’ authority as this might lead the child to take wrong decisions at times. Perhaps an important way to strike the right bond with children is through communication.

While there are many contradicting opinions on this issue, what matters most is striking a balance between parenting and friendship when raising kids.

Did you thank God today?

Ego manifests itself in different forms. We usually refer to ego as pride. We can have pride of knowledge, power and wealth. We attribute all that we are and all that we have done to our own individual efforts. We think we are superior to others in many ways.

Most religions say that God is the Creator. It is from Him that the entire universe came into being. We are but small specks in the entire scheme of Creation. If we examine our thoughts, how many times do we thank Him for our life? Few people go through their day-to-day lives remembering Him and His gifts.

True, we say mechanical prayers either at places of worship. We remember him when we want Him to save us from a calamity or from serious illness. But most of the time we hardly give Him a thought. Some even deny His existence. Scientists removed God from their view of the universe because He could not be verified by scientific instrumentation.

There are some enlightened scientists who have begun to question how such a perfectly designed universe and such a complex, well-planned organism as a human being could come about through chance. Those who delve into the intricacies of nature and are in awe of it have the humility to recognise there is some higher power responsible for this universe.

Pride of knowledge comes because of traps laid by the mind. When our soul enters the body, it works in this world through the mind. The brain is a complex organ that receives sense impressions from the world. Our culture makes us interpret these impressions in a certain way.

Besides receiving and interpreting impressions, the brain is a vehicle by which we can communicate with the world through language, to make our thoughts known to others. There are many involuntary actions controlled by the brain breathing, heartbeat and the release of hormones that regulate body functions.

Many think that the brain is the seat of thought. But there is a difference between the mind and the brain. The brain is like a computer which performs many functions. But it is the mind that controls the brain. The mind is a product of the causal plane of creation, a mixture of spirit and matter.

With the mind in control, many of our decisions and actions are based on meeting the mind’s desire and wishes. Because the object of the mind is to keep us enslaved to the world, it controls us. The soul, having forgotten itself, goes along with the mind.

We go to school and gain knowledge of this physical universe. We are bombarded by sense impressions at every moment. Our brain has the capacity to take in billions of bits of information, store and retrieve them, much like a computer.

Words can be combined in billions of ways to create new stories, books, ideas, new inventions. The notes of the musical scale can be combined in billions of ways to create a wide variety of music. The mind can keep us occupied and involved in this world for aeons and aeons.

The mind has forgotten that the colours of the palette it uses to paint have been created by God Himself. That the notes of the scale that it uses to compose songs are of God’s own making. The brain it uses to communicate with the world is also a creation of God.

Divorced middle-aged men 'get worst sleep'

Are you a divorced middle-aged man? Well, this can affect your sleep, suggests a new study. Researchers in Britain have found that separated men in their middle-age are becoming more and more short-tempered, emotional and are underperforming at work due to a lack of sleep. The study has revealed that divorced male lawyers in their 50s, who live in London, are Britain’s worst sleepers - in fact, they only get an average of four hours sleep each night which seriously affects their day-to-day lives.

An average adult needs seven to eight hours of sleep everyday, according to experts. Interestingly, the researchers have found that single females in their 20s are United Kingdom’s best sleepers with around ten hours sleep a night, The Daily Telegraph reported.

For their study, the researchers surveyed 2,000 adults across the country to reveal what disturbs their sleep at night. "The survey results show just how big a problem lack of sleep can be for some people and the havoc it can wreak on our personal lives," Steve Simpson from Silentnight was quoted as saying.

The majority of those polled nationwide said a lack of sleep had an adverse effect on their everyday life. A massive 93 per cent of people said that they are bad-tempered without a good night’s sleep and 31 per cent of people suffer from a lack of sex drive after having lost some sleep.

Just under half of people in East Anglia (43 per cent), 40 per cent of those in the south-west of England and 40 per cent of those in Scotland said that not being able to get comfortable affected their sleeping patterns.

What's cooking?

Relationships, especially marriages, are supposed to last a lifetime. And while most people are shocked to find out that their partner is very much in love... with someone else, there are tell-tale signs in most cases of infedility. It’s just that you don’t see them or rather, ignore them. Well, sweeping it under the carpet isn’t going to help anyone. In fact it will only make things worse. Here are signs that could mean that there’s a meal for two cooking, behind your back!

Lack of communication: Leaving post-its on the fridge or sending e-mails to inquire if the laundry has arrived is not the ideal way to communicate. You don’t need to be a relationship expert to see that not only have the sweet nothings stopped coming your way, but even the fights don’t happen anymore. Indifference is worse than irritating behaviour.

Changing phone habits: We’re living in times, where the cell phone can reveal a person’s deepest, darkest secrets. Does your spouse feel the need to move away when a certain someone calls? Does he have a special ringtone for this particular caller? Are there two many beeps indicating incoming messages at an hour when you can’t really be discussing office work? A quick run through your spouse’s inbox or sent messages could clear many things.

Sudden changes in likes and dislikes: If your well-rounded spouse is suddenly hitting the gym or seems overtly obsessed with his/her looks, it may indicate something’s amiss. This isn’t limited to external changes, but also changes in some likes and dislikes. Why else would your ghazal-loving husband suddenly become a Britney Spears fan? Or why would your wife who loves English poetry start sprouting shayari?

Picking up fights: Having fights is a sign of a healthy relationship. But fighting over trivial things like spending an extra minute in the loo is uncalled for. If everything, from the way you dress to the way you sit, walk, talk and even breathe seems to be a reason for a fight, then there’s more to it than what meets the eye.

Accuses you of cheating: A person’s ego often comes in the way of accepting his/her mistake and the best way out is to accuse the other person of some wrong doing. So if your spouse suddenly starts objecting to you chatting with a colleague of the opposite sex too often, don’t think he/she is trying to be cute and possessive. This may be later used as a reason to justify his/her infidelity.

Works overtime: Today an important meeting, tomorrow a business party and then some visiting clients, the excuses just don’t seem to end. It would be a good idea to check what exactly the overtime work is all about and what’s it going to cost you... very dearly if you aren’t careful.

Breaks dates too often: Do you remember that time when you were left standing outside the restaurant hungry, but never got to go in because your husband didn’t turn up? Or the time when you were stranded in a downpour because your wife couldn’t find a cab from her office which was two blocks away and unfortunately her cell battery had died just then? We don’t mean to say that every time your spouse breaks a date you suspect his/her actions, but anything that happens too often indicates something. Breaking a date is an indication that there are things, other than you, far more important to your partner.

Prefers to go out without you: There’s always some reason why you can’t go to a party. ‘It’s just office people’ or ‘It’s a boy’s night out’ or ‘We’ll be discussing work, honey’ are lines guaranteed to keep you safely tucked away at home while your better half may be boogeying the night away with a PYT. There’s got to be some reason why your homely hubby has turned into an ‘I-party-every-night’ types.

Bedroom behaviour changes: When there are two many sudden headaches just when things start getting romantic, or the need to tuck in a pillow between the two of you can’t be healthy for any relationship. If your partner prefers to watch saas-bahu sagas to canoodling with you, then it’s time to make your feelings clear. Don’t let your partner blame you for the sex life going sour. Try spicing up things, but know when your advances are not being returned. When candlelight dinners, sweet nothings and even sexy lingerie doesn’t work, there’s got to be a major problem there somewhere.

Used another name in bed

It can’t get more obvious than this! A cardinal sin! We don’t even need to explain this to you. Let him/her give you a plausible explanation for this goof-up.
And if it isn’t convincing enough, it’s time you seriously seek o

Fond of 'punjabi' food? God bless your heart!

If your tongue craves for rich ’butter-chicken’ and mouth starts to water at the mere sight of those oil-rich ‘punjabi’ delicacies...you are at risk of getting heart problems. Cardiovascular disease has become a major health concern in India.

Presently, its increasing prevalence among the youth is becoming a serious concern even for the experts dealing with heart-related problems for decades.

In Punjab, the mortality rate due to heart diseases is comparatively high than recorded in other parts of the country. It has made cardiologists worried and they are searching for a solution to this problem.

With 100 million people affected by heart-related diseases, India is set to be the heart disease capital of the world by 2010. And this fact has made country’s leading cardiologists worried, as was indicated at the Diagnostic Cardiology Summit at the Hero Dayanand Medical College here.

At Diagnostic Cardiology Summit, organized by the Hero DMC Heart Institute here recently, the cardiologists and experts from the country’s leading hospitals deliberated and discussed various diagnostic advancements and future trends.

Dr.Gurpreet Singh, Hero DMC heart institute, said: “Punjabi diet is very rich compared to (the diet) the population living in southern part of the country. It is for this reason that we are witnessing people at young age getting heart attacks.”

“We have seen people from Punjab who had migrated to the west had higher prevalence of heart diseases 10-15 years back. Now that same culture has come to our country and today we find the prevalence of this disease has increased manifolds in our country,” Singh added.

Presently, latest healthcare facilities are being used to deal with cardiovascular diseases in Punjab.

Nuclear Cardiology Test is the latest procedure introduced at Hero DMC Heart Institute.

It helps to diagnose or treat diseases and other abnormalities within the body. Nuclear medicine imaging procedures are non-invasive and relatively painless medical tests.

During the Summit, the head of nuclear medicine, deliberated on "Nuclear medicine imaging – current clinical utility" and highlighted the use of nuclear medicine in the management of various diseases.

Dr. Gurpreet Singh, Hero DMC heart institute, said: “The nuclear medicine is a new form of medicine. With this particular investigation we will be able to diagnose patients non-invasively without giving them any pricks.”

The deaths due to cardiovascular disease in India are expected to rise from 1.17 million recorded in 1990 to 2.03 million by circa 2010.

Mortality rate is high in Punjab accounting for about 49 percent of all deaths.

Dr. Manmohan Singh, President, Punjab Medical Council, said: “Earlier, the heart related illness were noticed less among rural population. But as urbanization of rural areas is taking place, the urban-rural difference is decreasing and more and more rural people are getting this disease.”

India’s leading heart specialist, Dr. Naresh Trehan, on this occasion said: “One can do three things, for preventing heart diseases. Eat less fried food, less butter and ghee. Second, exercise daily for around 45 minutes. And third, reduce stress in life. Because of the nature of the work, we have become over stressed. So things like yoga, meditation and entertainment help a person to relax.”

Post Graduate Institute of Medical Education and Research in Chandigarh is currently conducting a study on the reasons leading to heart problems in patients up to 35 years of age.

Want to lose weight? Eat eggs for breakfast

Eating at least two eggs for breakfast helps overweight adults lose more weight and feel more energetic, revealed a new study by an Indian-origin researcher. Nikhil V Dhurandhar, PhD, lead researcher and associate professor in the laboratory of infection and obesity at Pennington Biomedical Research Center said that eating two eggs in the morning, as part of a reduced-calorie diet, helps in losing 65 per cent weight in overweight people, than those who eat bagel breakfast of equal calories.

This study supports a previous research that showed that people who ate eggs for breakfast felt more satisfied and ate fewer calories in the following meal. "People have a hard time adhering to diets and our research shows that choosing eggs for breakfast can dramatically improve the success of a weight loss plan. Apparently, the increased satiety and energy due to eggs helps people better comply with a reduced-calorie diet,” said Dhurandhar.
When the subjects who ate a bagel breakfast were compared with those who consumed two eggs for breakfast as part of a reduced-calorie diet, it was also found that men and women who had eggs exhibited a 61 per cent greater reduction in BMI. They also reported higher energy levels than their dieting counterparts who consumed a bagel breakfast

However, it was found that blood lipids were not impacted during the two month study. Also, blood levels of cholesterol, as well as triglycerides, did not vary compared to baseline cholesterol blood levels in subjects who ate either the bagel or egg breakfasts. This supports more than 30 years of research that conclude that healthy adults can enjoy eggs without significantly impacting their risk of heart disease.

This study adds to the growing body of research which supports the importance of high-quality protein in the diet. It was found recently that not getting enough high-quality protein may contribute to obesity, muscle wasting (loss) and increased risk of chronic disease.

Jackie Newgent, registered dietitian and chef, stresses the importance of obtaining adequate high-quality protein when advising consumers about weight loss. "Eggs are a good source of all-natural, high-quality protein, so they can help keep you satisfied longer, making it easier to resist tempting snacks. Nearly half of an egg’s protein, and many of the other nutrients are found in the yolk, so make sure to eat the whole egg for maximum benefits," said Newgent.

What to do when germs attack

There’s never a good time to catch a cold or come down with the flu, but you don’t have to take it lying down. So what should you do? Take high doses of vitamin C? Suck on some zinc lozenges? Or do you stick to Mom’s old-fashioned remedies: bowls of chicken soup, hot tea, and menthol rubs to fight off those bugs the best you can?
Some dietary supplements may help shorten the duration and/or reduce the severity of symptoms if taken at the onset of a cold or the flu. Many of these need to be taken within 24 hours of onset in order to be effective.
Zinc. Zinc has been shown to shorten the length of a cold and lessen the symptoms, as long as it’s taken within 24 hours of the cold’s onset. Too much zinc can be toxic.
Vitamin C. This popular vitamin may help to reduce the length of a cold, but not as much as you think.
Probiotics. Dietary supplements containing the beneficial bacteria lactobacilli and bifidobacteria have been shown to reduce the duration of the common cold by almost 2 days.

Finally, the Old Standby: There’s nothing wrong with going back to basics and doing what your mom probably advised when you were getting sick: Get plenty of rest and have a bowl of chicken soup.

She may have been right: According to new research, chicken soup may have some medicinal qualities after all. Some ingredients in traditional chicken soup seem to have an anti-inflammatory effect, helping to alleviate the symptoms of upper respiratory tract infections. So if you’ve come down with a cold and there’s nothing more to be done, go ahead and slurp up a bowl. And tell your mom thanks for the advice.