When he says ''no to sex"

Most women blame themselves when their partner loses interest in sex. They feel that that their man doesn’t fancy them anymore. But the real culprit is someone, or something else altogether...

The number of times he says ‘no’ only leads you to think that he’s found someone else. But that is often not the case. Usually, there is something going on ‘upstairs’ that’s freezing activities ‘downstairs’. Your job is to find out what that something is, and work together to sort it out.

If your man denies you sex, it is not uncommon to be left worrying about whether he is having an affair or wants to end the relationship. The truth is that although you may experience these feelings and thoughts, it’s unlikely that his loss of desire, or ability to maintain an erection, is caused by a loss of interest in you, your looks or your relationship.

Most men suffer from other sexual problems when they are stressed out, tired or under pressure to perform in some way. In fact, the problem is more likely to originate from a demanding boss or a heavy workload, than from you...

Tiredness and overindulgence

If your partner has been working hard and trying to meet deadlines, the tiredness and worry can cause problems in focusing on lovemaking. Other causes of temporary erection loss can be overindulgence in alcohol, or a heavy meal. When this happens, stimulation during love play will not cause or sustain the act. At this stage, it is crucial to comfort him and avoid making accusations about his loss of interest in you, or imply an affair. This will only increase the pressure on him and make things worse. Sometimes, just resting for sometime will solve the problem.

Discussing feelings

It is also important to explain your feelings about what has happened and to ask for his help in coping with the emotions you may be experiencing. Explain that you are worried – it may be connected to your relationship and how he feels about you, and encourage him to open up about what’s going on with him too. Start by saying something like ‘I know this probably sounds silly but... ’ continuing with your own concerns about his loss of desire. Encourage him to do the same with you, as he is just as likely to be as concerned as you are, if not more so. In this way, you can act as a team and solve the problem together , rather than both avoiding the issue through fear of probably losing each othe